Note. As this my writing site I thought this would be the best place to put this page. This site is for my writings and stories and as I answered all his questions in story form this is the place to put it.
Very important note. Some family members on both sides may get up sat and I’m sorry about that but most all the info here is of public record.
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Janina Halina Rak aka Helena J. Rak.Birth: March 4, 1947, in Wildflecken, Germany in a displaced persons camp.
Death: April 5, 2006, Mesa, Maricopa County Arizona.
Photo provided by her son.
Note. There is a lot more information about her and her family and this information can be found at the site of ( Find a Grave.)
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Letter-1.
I’m sorry to hear of your mothers passing, I know her for many years, I met your mother in the late 60’s. If you would like to know about her pass life here in Topeka I will be glad to tell you some stories some will be good and others not so good. In your memories you state she was only married once, not so her first marriage was in the late 60’’s
Answer: Ummmmm ok .... I really don't know U came across this info ...or how U would know my mother ...but I’m Chris.
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Letter-2.
Hi Chris, I decided it would be best If I wrote instead of calling as I’m hard of hearing and the call would be long distance. As how I found you I was doing some research at Find a Grave and ran across her info, and boy was I surprise and sadden at the same time. It sadden me to find her there and knowing of her passing, but I was glad to see her life turn out better then it’s beginning. I well tell you some about your mother. If you have any questions I well give you a truthful answer, as I know it. But if you wish not to hear from me again I will go by your whishes.
I first met your mother in 1967, she was about 18 or 19, it’s hard to remember, well any ways I had taken off for lunch, and went into this restaurant up town, and while I waited to place my order this young woman came by carrying a tray with a bowl soup, as she passed she gave me a big smile, then placed the bowl in front of this man, then she did something I’ll never forget. On the way to give this man his soup, some spilled from the bowl onto the tray, well after she placed it in front of him she tip the tray and pour it back into the bowl. Then she gave a big laugh and slapped the man on the back and said, “Not to worry the tray is very clean.” I didn’t think I’ll ever forget the first time I met your mother Well this is just on story if you whish to hear more just let me know.
Answer: call me collect.
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Letter-3.
Question: any pictures !?!? ...i really don’t know what to ask ...this is like wow!…to me ...to be frank my mother was murdered .... so the last couple of years has been strange with my mom ...no family here ...I’m an orphan!
Answer: Hi Chris, I’m so sorry to hear that, I don’t whish to open old wounds but if you have any news stories you could scan and send, I’ed be most grateful. I will hold to my decision on not calling, there are many reason why, one my wife she would not take to kindly of me talking to the family of an old “Girl Friend.” No it’s best for all concern. I had many pictures of your mother, I was a photo hound for many years, but after I married, my wife ask, No told me to destroy them and I went by her whishes.
Last night I was telling you how I met your mother. After she brought my order we got to talking and by the time lunch was over she ask if I would like to come to her place for a visit. Later that night I found myself standing in front of this old house that had been turn into apartments, hers was on the first landing and the first door on the right. Her apartment was small only two rooms. There was the front room then the kitchen, to use the bathroom you had to go out the door and go down the hall.
Well after I been there a while she got a phone call, after the call she told me one of her friends was upset and needed some one to talk too. Your mother said I could go or stay, she said she would like me to stay. Well this being my real first date with a real woman I said I would stay, she said I would have to hide in the bathroom until her friend left, she lead me to it and told me she would come and get after her friend left. Well I didn’t know what to think, this was all new to me. I sat there two hours, then she finely came and got me, and we enjoyed the rest of the evening together. Well Chris this was my first date with you mother, if you whish me to go on I will tell how I tried to stop your mother from marrying her first husband.
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Letter-4.
Question: ......(Deep Breath) Since ....You believe that U that U knew my mother ....(Takes deep breath)...A couple of questions:
1) what was my mothers 1st husbands name. I know this info. But when my mother died, I thought it best never to mention it ...it had no importance then or now! I have seen one picture of him. I know he died. If you know please tell me. I lost my mother's years ago.
2) Any pictures of my mom? How did you come across find a grave? Why now? Why five (5) years later?
3) No news stories. Simple a guy she dated killed her, it was a botched investigation. She died from a "Internal Hemorrhage" ..... Case closed ... She died Without a will ...So she was creamated ...and I scattered her ashes in Bisbee, Az and other places...I still have some left... ...Now I'm an Orphan...No family except the small group of long-time friends I have .... ... No real family helped only a couple of close friends. I know her brotehr died (My uncle!) ...well of course you would u read find a grave ...a few years back.. I don't know what pictures U want!??!. ...find a grave has some.... tough now to look at them... My mother & her sister were never ever close.... I lived in Colorado off and on for 10 about years in the Dever area....Her sister was in Longmont, Colorado ...I rarley spoke to her or saw her e....she hated the fact I remined her of my mother ...I never knew my Uncle Bruce died (her husband) till about 2 or 3 years after it happend... When I asked for help with the creamation etc...even cleaning out my mom's place....Aunt Christne refused... say la vie ... I cut her out of my life a loong time ago...
.... So ...After I graduate college with my MA degree (Medical Asst. Degree) I'am leaving Phoenix back to Denver to be nurse .. .. Nothing really here...... I got stuck here with the economy ... What is funny about 5 (five) years agi\o I was trying to get back to Topeka to scatter the rest of my mothers ashes near her parents grave .... Never happened . Well yes keep writing ..this is interesting ... strange ...but interesting.
Answer: Chris I can see that I’m putting salt in a raw wound, maybe it’s best I leave things along, but I have always wonder what happen to her. I tried many time to find her, but never new her new husbands name. like I said I was at find a grave doing some research, my hobby is genealogy my field is military from 1776-1900, but the heart of my site is surnames. I look for names that interest me than I look for info on them. I have four web sites two deal with surnames, here is the address to my mine site if you wish to look it over http://www.civilwarthosesurnames.blogspot.com/, my photo is on all my web sites, if you care to see what I look like. I don’t need any news stories of your mother’s death, what you told me is good enough for me. As I told you I had many photos of your mother but my wife had me destroy them. I’m not looking for any photo’s of her those at find a grave is good enough, there the way I remember her.
I won’t tell you a story this time as it’s the week end and all the family is home, but I well write Monday and tell you a story. However to let you know this is for real her first husband name was Perry (?) Noland, after they were married they went to live in Mineral Wells Texas, he was a Airman and was station there his job had something to do with TV. While they were there I want and stayed with them about a week.
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Letter-5.
Well I guess U are for real.... Just tell me anything U want.
Answer: Chris I got a couple hours to myself so here is other story, I could give you all the info all at once but I like tell stories in fact on of my sites is about my stories. I just felt you could get a better feel on what your mother was thinking and feeling at this time of her live.
I told you about our first date, and there were many more to come in the next three or four months. I believe it was on our third, see saw something in my eyes and said “ Don’t get too involved in me I’m getting married in about three months.” It was to late by then I was a love sick puppy, and I saw something in her eyes too there was no shine in them when she talked about the up coming wedding. Over the following months we talk and argued about the upcoming wedding. I know there was something all wrong about her getting married, but I couldn’t figure it out, every time I tried to talk about it, she would lower her head and tried to change the subject. But in the end I got the whole story out of her.
It wasn’t so much that she loved him, although she may have in her own way, but it was her way getting out of town. She was looking for a better life and wanted to go place and see different things. I kept trying to have her give it up but she just said “ I may a agreement and I’ll stand by it.” Your mother was always looking for something better I don’t think she even know what she was looking but she kept on looking.
Then she was gone and I didn’t know where, then one Sunday morning my mother showed me the paper and there was her picture and the announcement of the wedding I was heart broken. Then a few weeks later I got a call, she said that she and Perry were back in town and to come on over. At that time they were living in a apartment off 6th., street. Over the next months I went over almost every day and even stayed over some nights. I met her brother and sister there a couple of times, her brother could care less but her sister, well she didn’t like me to much, she didn’t like me hanging so much, it seem every time she came over I was there and I was, but it was up to your mother if I was to go or stay and she want me to stay.
Then they got station to Mineral Wells Texas, I know they had left but I didn’t know where. The a while later she called and told me where she was. Then that summer I had a chance to go with my brother who was a airman to back to his base in Washington State. But I was unable to stay long and had to leave. So I called her in Texas and asked if I could come and she said ok, I stayed a week then Perry told me I had been there long enough, so I left. A couple moths later I got a call from her saying there were back in town and come on over which I did and we started where we left off.
Chris we had a off and on relationship some good and some not so good, but in the end I think our lives is batter because of it, mainly it was her trust in me. Any time she had a problem or need help she would come to me. Your mother had many friends, but I was the only one she really Trusted. Next time I’ll tell you how and why your grand father became a drunk. And why your mother went bald, that’s right not a hair on her head.
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Letter-6.
Answer: My mother bald was because of a car accident, I met my grandfather once or twice when I was 5 Or Under.
I know Nolan is dead ..and as for "Friends"...not 1 damn person shoed up to her memorial ....not 1 ...I even called her High school and had them cotat people W./in the year book committee...The people at her memorial were me ...my ex (her son in law!) ...and a few of my friend who never met my mother .....it just seemed when she passed so did any part of her past!...
accept the fact that I'am an Orphan ... isaw my real fatehr a month after the fueral ..all he wanted was proof she died ....and he tried to givemy $$ ..for the ffost of the cremation ...I told him sorry to late ..sold most of moms things to pay for it ..... and well offhe went like a thief in the night ... I dont speak etc to my real dad .... Once my partents divorced in 85 or so, he re-married and wrote me off ...He spent years, off and on trying to prove I wasn't his son to stop paying child support etc...But we (Mom and I), and I good lawyer and their were always the blood tests to prove he was my dad ...Very bitter times for all in involved ...& I was just a kid ....Oh well ..I learned to forgive and gorget etc ...Int he final years before my mother died ..we were not close ...her last marriage took a lot on her.... That is 1 reason I moved back to Arizona, to be close to her. I tired but it never worked.
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Letter-7.
Question: Well Chris it looks like you know more about her passed the you first let on…..LOL….So I maybe telling stories you heard before? But I well tell you one or two more.
When I first met your mother she had a Beehive hair do, I learned later it was a wig, she never changed her hair style and never took it off, she even wore it to bed, I always thought it was kind of strange but I didn’t ask, I knew there was a reason, but it was her business so I didn’t push it. About four years into our relationship I came over to her place and when I went in she was sitting there next to a tv tray with hair junk on it and a towel on her head. Then she got to the point and said “These may shock you.” and she took off the towel, it was a little bit of a shock, but I got over it. I asked how it happen, Now this is what she told me and it’s different then want she told you, but the truth may be some where in the middle. She said her mother passed when she was around 13, and with trying help take care of her brother and sister and look after her father the stress became too much and all her hair fell out, the doctors said it was the stress. I believe her because I know stress can do that.
When I first met you mother there was a woman who looked over you’re mother her name I believe was Mrs. Skank she was from the church I met her a couple times, she had a farm on the north side of town. When your mother wanted to go horse riding she went to the farm, I went with her once, I don’t like horses so I waited in the barn yard till her rid was over.
When your grandfather and grandmother first came here they had a hard time, but it wasn’t long before they were doing very well, your grandfather had own four of five rentals, then his wife took sick and later died of a brain tumor, I think? Well after his wife died he didn’t handle it very well and started drinking and with his drinking and all the Bill’s he soon lost eve thing. I met your grandfather many times. The first time was at your mother’s place he seemed to be real nice. I would met him on the street from time to time or in front of one of the flop houses he was living in. When ever he saw me he would say hi, the last time I saw him he was living in a basement, he asked me in for a drink, it wasn’t much of a place it was dark and a lonely place. There is one thing I will always remember about your grandfather was his tools, no matter how bad he got, he never sold any of his tools. He had brought then over from the old country and would not part with them for anything.
Answer: ....Deep Breath ...
Well my mother always told me (She had a bald spot as far back as I can remember!) that she got it from a car accident .....a drunk driver hit her car or something. As for when my grandmother died when my mother was 13, both my Aunt Chrtistne & my mother both confirmed (Before we stopped speaking years.. and years ago!) that my grandfather killed my grandmother in a drunk rage...he slammed her head into the bathtub ..causing her to have a brain hemmorage...this was when my mother was 13... Also I was told that my grandmother spent time in the mental state hospital.. This is all I know.. .I met my grandfather once ...he was a wood carver. As far as Mrs. Skank ..my mother hated this woman ...when ever her name ame p she would say that woman is in hell I hope! I never understood it, I don't remember that last name of the step-grandparents my mom and I stayed with for about a year in 85-86.
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Letter-8.
Question: Chris this could be the lat of my stories, I have enjoyed telling them it brought back a lot of old memories.
I don’t have a lot more to tell or there are a lot more stories to be sure but manly about me and you mother and the things she would do and how she really was but it is best to keep the past in the past.
After she came back the last time thing for her and I went pretty good for a very long time then suddenly I was seeing less and less of her. I finely give up on her thinking she left town again she would to that kind of thing and I wouldn’t know about till she was back in town. In the mean time I had met my wife to be and put your mother out of my mind the best as I could. The year was 1972, and my wife to be was with child, sometime that summer I was working on the second floor lobby of the hotel when the elevators doors opened and out steps your mother. It was a shook to see her again and the way see looked. She to was with child herself I would say about 4 or 5 months, well I did some fast figuring and the times seemed to fit, boy or boy was I sweating here I had a wife to be with child and here comes your mother with a child to be, I was going out of my mind.
Your mother had read my face and smiled and said not to worry it’s wasn’t mine, she had come to say good by she was getting married to some service man and then they were leaving town. That was the last time I ever saw your mother. However I did hear from her two more times. The first time was about two years later I get a call from her, my wife took the call and to say she was pissed is to say the lest, your mother had called to tell me she was in town and would I like to have some coffee with her, I had to say no.
The last time I heard from her was the day before her fathers burial, I hadn’t even known he had died, she said she knew I liked her father and he had liked me and would I come. I would have liked to have went but there were to many season I couldn’t, so I had to say no. That was the last time I ever heard from her.
Chris I started writing this last night. I read your mail this morning and all I can say is this; Your mother was bad about telling hole truths, so I can only tell you what she told me. As for her mothers death, like I said she told me she had brain trouble and died. About your mother being bald, she wasn’t skin bald, it was like peach fuzz and some of her hair was long enough to put in pin curls. I met Mrs. Skank once, the first time I know about her was when I was at your mothers first place. I was there one day and had there for a while then you mother got a call Mrs. Skank was on her way over to talk about the up coming wedding. She told me to wait tell she pulled up then go out the back door so she won’t see me, she said that Mrs. Skank won’t like it if she saw me there. Your mother seemed to get along with her, as your mother went to her home a lot. Mrs. Skank would loan money and her car and give her the run of the Skank farm, as far as riding the horses and what not. But your right I remember years later I said something about her and your mother said that she hope she would die and go to hell. I don’t know what had happen to change your mother’s feelings toward her, it was her secret and your mother had many. As far as your mother’s step-parents I knew of them but your mother would not talk about them so I know nothing about them.
In the beginning you asked why now after all these years, it’s not just now I had off and on looked for her just to see how her live was going. But the real truth was when I last saw her she was 4 or 5 months with child, although she said it wasn’t mine, I wasn’t sure if she was telling me the truth. Like I said your mother had many secrets .I had hope that one day I would find her and she would show me some photo’s of the family and I was hoping I would see something in the children faces that would tell me she had not told the truth. But it’s in the past, and almost 40 years has passed, and even if I had found out I was right what good would it do to know after all these years, I guess it’s best to keep it in the past, but it still haunts me even to this day.
Chris your mother was fun to be with and she work every hard to have what little she had, but some time it was not enough. I paid her rent once or twice and brought her food from time to time, so she could keep on going.
She had many jobs and mostly worked uptown, she worked at three restaurants, two bars, a eye glass place were she fitted and fix glasses, one of the restaurants was on 21st street, and she worked in a private club in North Topeka. Well Chris this is the end of my stories I hope you got to hear something you never know about your mother. She will be missed.
Good luck and best whishes.
Answer: Here are some current photos of me ..if u want ...
I do have a favor ... I need to get to Topeka some day to scatter the rest of my moms ashes ... if I get to Topeka ...can or would u help me!? Thanks for the stories ...this is what I wanted oh so long ago ...I miss my mother very much ..we were not close in the final years ...but I moved out when I was 18 ..long stories their ... but in all she was a good parent ...yes she had secrets ..had not many truths .... I guess that is what she had ..secrets.
It should be noted there are about three letters missing.
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